What Defines It?
by einootspork
Summary: This is a fic that explores Tomo and Yomi's past and friendship. FRIENDSHIP. Meanwhile, Kaorin continues to chase desperately after Sakaki, and Chiyo and Osaka stumble upon a secret between two teachers. CANCELLED
1. Boredom

**The Obligatory Disclaimer and also boring information type**

_I don't own Azumanga Daioh. If you needed to be told that on a fanfiction website, you're obviously a few bricks short of a load, but whatever._

_I know the title is a bit odd, but it will make sense as we go along. Trust me. Or don't; I'm not very trustworthy. Anyways, this is a fic that explores Tomo and Yomi's past and friendship. Notice I say FRIENDSHIP. Meanwhile, Kaorin continues to chase desperately after Sakaki (with Chihiro's help and Kimura's hindrance), Osaka tries to uncover the meaning of life, Chiyo can't figure out why Nyamo seems so bummed and Yukari's losing her mind, and Kagura just sort of floats around and does various things to affect all the various plots in various ways. Is that all the characters? It better be._

_So yeah, probably not a good idea to include all those different storylines in one story, but I frickin' felt like it, K? K._

_Also, just a warning: I know nothing about Japan. Almost nothing at all. I know about as much as Japan as, say, the bottle of shampoo in your bathroom. Or, if you don't use shampoo, you're disgusting._

_Anyway enough of the rambling, let's get this train wreck a-rollin'! Ready go!  
_

* * *

**I**

**BOREDOM **

Tomo was bored.

In fact, everyone was bored.

Well, that wasn't true. Osaka wasn't bored; she had been staring at the floor with great interest for the past seven and one-third minutes and seemed to be fine with it, but she was Osaka, a highly unique person and quite possibly her very own species, and this was considered normal behavior for her.

Everyone else, though, was bored out of their skulls. Even though they were eating on the roof, where a fairly pleasant view was available to them, there seemed to be nothing of interest going on. Yomi ate her lunch in silence, and not a content one, but an uncomfortable, thick one. It was as if the air was actually thick enough that one had to wade through it. Sakaki, as usual, was detached and taciturn, but so was Chiyo-chan, who normally was friendly to the point of being a little irritating to people who didn't much care for that sort of thing. Kaorin was admiring a certain someone like she always was, but in a much less interested manner than usual. Her friend Chihiro wasn't any better; if anything, she was even more disinterested and she was focusing her vision on nothing in particular. Kagura was hit by the boredom fairly hard. Being her energetic self, she gave off an aura of extreme unease and one could tell she wasn't too far away from going mad from sitting still for so long. Even her boredom, though, paled in comparison with Tomo's.

Tomo was antsy and confused, slightly scared, even. What was going on? Why wasn't anything happening? She very badly wanted something to happen, but there really was nothing she could think of to do. It wasn't as though it had all been done today, too. In fact, it had been utterly uneventful thus far. There was just some sort of pallor this day cast over everyone and Tomo couldn't stand it. This wasn't fun, and in Tomo's book, any moment that isn't completely saturated in fun was a waste of precious life-force.

Then she realized she was being silly. Of course there was something that would relieve the boredom... Why hadn't she thought of that before? She chalked it up to the strange gloom this day carried. It carried that gloom despite the fabulous weather, which was quite unfair, really, but it didn't matter now. This was definitely going to make things more interesting for her.

Unfortunately, it was also going to make things more interesting for Yomi.

"Hey, Yomi..." she muttered. The day was too subdued for her to manage her usual shout.

Yomi made a small noise of acknowledgment and turned her head, very slowly, to face Tomo.

"What... uh..." Tomo couldn't think of what to say. This was unusual for her, because she usually didn't even bother thinking. But the thickness of the air forced her to do so. "What was the... No, your... What was your answer to problem... seven?"

"What?" Yomi mumbled.

"You know... in gym... No, wait, I mean... uh... English. English, I think..."

"Well..." Yomi lifted her chopsticks up to meet her mouth at a speed of roughly .02 miles per year. "I think it was... uh..." She said the English word for "house," which was "house."

"Oh..." said Tomo slowly.

"Mhmm."

"That's... funny..."

"Mhmm."

"Because..."

"Because... What?"

It felt to Tomo as if the air was growing thicker, yet at the same time, all the oxygen seemed to be seeping out of it, making breathing difficult and nearly suffocating her; it was difficult to hear Yomi's words over the silence and the tape was being played at half speed...

Quarter speed...

One frame per second...

"Because _**YOU GOT THE ANSWER WRONG!!!!!!!!**_"

The tape was being played at full speed again, the air popped, and everyone woke up and turned their heads to see what all the commotion was. Even Osaka snapped to attention.

"What?! What are you talking about?" Yomi barked.

"What does it _sound_ liiiiiiiiiiiike?" Tomo chirped, getting up from the ledge she was perched on and prancing around like the fool she was. "That's the wrong answeeeerr!"

"No it's not!" Yomi protested furiously, her food still suspended halfway between the plate and her mouth.

"Yuh-HUH! That's not what I got at all!"

"One might argue that's proof that I DID get it right."

Tomo laughed. "Oh, Yomi, you're such a joker. It's almost _charming_, really!"

Yomi boiled.

"Hah! I bet you're gonna punch me now or somethin'!" Tomo grinned that awful grin that never failed to make Yomi feel an intense urge to go for her neck.

Yomi shot her friend a look of such pure rage that all the others instinctively moved away from her slightly. Tomo began to sweat and even shake slightly, but then Yomi's face became utterly expressionless.

"You are not going to bother me today," she said, her voice having taken on a completely colorless tone.

To Tomo, this was somehow even worse than if she had been punched. She tried to say something, but her voice seemed to have extinguished itself. Her heart was beating... well, she couldn't tell exactly, but far too quickly.

After a lot of effort, she finally managed to say:

"Oh."

She sat down where she was standing and stared directly at nothing.

For the rest of the day, nothing anyone said to her got an answer.

-------

The next day, while the class was waiting for Yukari-sensei to show up, Tomo seemed to be back to normal. After greeting Yomi rather loudly, she began a long spiel about some "super-ass crazy-awesome" dream she had the night before, but Yomi wasn't really listening. She was staring at a crack in the wall that seemed to have gotten bigger since yesterday.

"...so then the school blew up and the ultra-zombies were..."

"Uh... Yomi-san..." asked Osaka in her slow, faraway manner.

"Huh?" Yomi gave a tiny jerk of the head and looked at her.

"You're staring at my crack in the wall..." Osaka pointed vaguely at the crack in the wall Yomi had been looking at.

"..._Your_... crack in the wall?"

"Yes..." Osaka nodded. "The one I always look at..."

"Oh."

"Yomi-san, have you ever wondered..."

Yomi groaned inwardly to herself. Whenever Osaka asked if she had ever wondered, what followed usually was some sort of time-wasting question about god knows what.

"Yomi-san, have you ever wondered," Osaka repeated, "Why you and Tomo-chan are friends?"

This caught Yomi by surprise.

"Oh. Well... There is a reason. A very good one. But... It's a bit complicated... Too complicated to explain right now."

"Ah." Osaka went back to staring at her crack in the wall.

Yomi knew there was a good reason. Of course there was. That's what she told herself, anyway. Really, she didn't know why. She just knew how...

* * *

_  
That's the cue for a flashback, in case you didn't realize. The next chapter, with said flashback, should be up anywhere from tomorrow to months from now, but most likely much closer to the "tomorrow" end._


	2. To Set Things In Motion

**Disclaimer, info, obscure references, confusion, socks**

_Once upon a time there was a kid named Einoo who didn't own Azumanga Daioh._

_The end._

_So, yeah. Here's your flashback. Grade school goodness!_

_Also, you may be wondering if I'm not going to do any romance in this fic. I am, but not between Yomi and Tomo. No, you're not going to find out who just yet; you'll __**learn**__ who it is when we get there._

_Oh wait, that made it way too obvious. Crap. Well, subtlety was never my strong point; I _do_ live in the US._

_My use of the semicolon brings up another small issue, which is... my use of the semicolon. It's a bit odd to use the semicolon as much as I do, but what can I say? I like it!_

_And on that extremely trivial note, let's get back to our story!_

-----

**II**

**TO SET THINGS IN MOTION**

Going to a new school is always difficult. Everything you knew before no longer applies. You need to figure out the teachers, the classes, and the other students all over again, and not too many are up for it.

Koyomi was not one of the few who was. In fact, she was nervous like crazy. Would she get good grades? This was a question that had bothered her a lot over the summer; she was very studious and didn't want to ruin her excellent school record. But there was another question that worried her much more: Would she make any friends?

You see, Koyomi was not very social. It wasn't like she wasn't a friendly person or anything; she was well-liked at her old school. However, though she had been well-liked, she was never very close friends with anyone. There was no one with whom she shared a strong trust with. That was the problem for her. She was just too reserved, too shy. Her parents were always telling her that more social interaction would be good for her, but she just couldn't work up the... well, frankly, the guts. Thus, she usually spent all her time outside of school alone at her house, often studying.

That was why the question of whether she would make new friends kept her awake at nights.

Still, there was no use worrying about this now. Koyomi reminded herself this, as she was having trouble getting past the gates due to anxiety. She took a pair of deep breaths to calm down, and when that didn't accomplish anything, she took a trio. It'll probably be fine, she told herself. No, drop the "probably." It would definitely be fine.

She finally forced herself to push through the gates and into the school. _Second grade, here I come, _she sighed to herself.

-----

It was lunchtime for Koyomi now. Nothing interesting had happened during the beginning half of the first day at her school, but she was fine with that. When things weren't interesting, at least nothing bad was happening. That was close to being her motto in these days. Not exactly the spirit of the nineties, but it worked for her. She navigated through her lunch quietly. She liked the quiet, which was fortunate, as she was probably going to get a lot of it this year.

"Hey, you!"

"Me?" Koyomi breathed, jerking her head up at the sudden noise. Who could be talking to her?

"Yeah! You! With the brown hair!"

Koyomi had identified where the noise was coming from and turned around. "Yes?"

"Are you new here?" asked the shorter, grinning black-haired girl she found herself staring at.

"Um... Yes... I am," Koyomi said quietly.

"I thought so. I didn't recognize you." The girl's grin grew wider, which Koyomi found a little alarming. She couldn't tell if this girl was friendly or not yet, but either way figured she was a handful. "My name is Tomo Takino. What's yours?"

"Uh... I am... I'm... Koyomi. Mizuhara." She had even less of an idea of what to think of this strange Tomo girl now than she did before.

"Nice to meet you! I'm always ready to help out the new kid," Tomo chirped.

"Uh... Thanks..." Koyomi nodded. She wasn't sure she wanted to be thought of as the "new kid" or not, but there wasn't any point in arguing about it.

"You mind if I sit with you?" asked Tomo.

"No... Not at all." Koyomi smiled slightly. It looked as though she wouldn't be getting so much quiet after all.

-----

"Hello? Yomi-san?" Yomi's thoughts were shot down and returned to Earth as Osaka waved her hand in front of her face. "I was worried about you. You were starting to space out..."

Yomi noted the irony in Osaka saying that, but didn't comment on it. "No, I'm fine," was all she said.

"Oh, good," Osaka murmured. "I thought maybe your brain was shrinking or something..."

"What?"

"I've heard it can happen if you're not careful... You should be more careful... Then it won't happen..."

"Uh, right. I'll keep that in mind," Yomi said in the least disdainful voice she could find. She didn't think she could keep it up too long.

Fortunately, Yukari-sensei chose that time to enter. And much more enthusiastically than usual. Instead of the usual trudging and muttering curses under her breath (or, more frequently, shouting them loudly, causing some kids to panic and someone to clap their hands over Chiyo-chan's ears), she pranced in merrily and grinning in a manner that was so amusing that Yomi had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing.

"Hello, class!" she chirped. In most classes the teacher would have expected a response, but Yukari was completely uninterested in such trivial matters, and continued talking. "How are all of you horrible little children today?"

The room was filled with vague mutterings of things along the lines of "fine," "okay," and "mnnnnnh." This was the students' only class they could get away with such an underwhelmed response and they seized their opportunity. Chiyo-chan gave a very enthusiastic reply, but no one was listening, least of all the teacher.

"Right! Well, let's get our asses in gear, then!" the English teacher proclaimed. "Oh, you have a question, Kagura-chan?"

"Yes, Yukari-sensei," said the sporty girl. "Why are you so happy? Did something bad happen to Kurosawa-sensei again?"

Yukari merely laughed and changed the subject.

She was like this for all of the period. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face, she spun around on her tiptoes too much, and said things like "Great job!" at the slightest provocation, including once when a student lent her a tissue. What seemed most unusual was that Yukari refused to tell the students a word about what was making her so happy. Usually she left no stone relating to her private life unturned, but any time someone tried to get an answer out of her today she started talking about the weather, homework, and even things as trivial as the class schedule or what she had for breakfast that morning. No one knew what to make of it, especially not Chiyo-chan, who adopted a sublimely puzzled look for most of the class.

The class didn't get any less puzzled during gym. If Yukari was unusually cheerful and friendly, Kurosawa-sensei was behaving nearly the opposite. She was distant and moody and taciturn, reminding Yomi of the way she and all of her friends had been the previous day. Sometimes she would space out for long periods of time and then regain her senses when a student tried to ask her something, whereupon she'd rattle off a random platitude seemingly just to shut them up. The only thing she had in common with her best friend was her evasiveness. Just like with Yukari, no one could get a straight answer out of her (when she wasn't spewing platitudes). In fact, half the time no one got an answer out of her at all. Chiyo-chan was very confused at this point, but she also had a growing suspicion that the two's behavior were somehow related.

When lunchtime rolled around, the students definitely had a lot to talk about.

"Hey, did you guys notice how weird Yukari and Nyamo are acting today?" asked Tomo, apparently convinced that no one had her amazing observational skills.

"Of course we noticed." Yomi gave Tomo a sharp look. "They were behaving very out-of-character." Interesting choice of words, no?

"Yeah," agreed Osaka. "Maybe their brains are shrinking too..."

"I don't know why our teachers are behaving in such a manner," Chiyo-chan agreed. "However, I think whatever has caused this involves both of them."

"Why you always gotta talk so fancy?" Tomo scratched her head.

"It is the only way I know how to talk." Chiyo-chan hung her head down slightly.

"Chiyo-chan might be right," Sakaki, who was there, in case you're wondering, opined. "After all, Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei are close friends..."

Everyone agreed.

"Yeah, they're funny to watch," Tomo noted. "I mean Yukari-chan is all 'Hey Nyamo!' and then bugs Nyamo-chan and then Nyamo-chan is all annoyed and then Yukari-chan is all like–" At this point, Tomo started illustrating her speech with wild hand gestures– "'That's why you don't have a boyfriend!' and Nyamo-chan snaps and is all like 'Neither do you! And you're not smart and junk like me!' and then they fight and crap! It's funny."

"I guess you find it so funny because it rings true for you, Tomo," said Yomi dryly.

"Yeah, probably." Tomo laughed and missed the point entirely.

Yomi didn't respond. She stared vacantly off into space instead.

----

Yomi was not the only person staring vacantly at the moment.

"Kaorin, are you staring at her again?"

"What?" Kaorin sat up straight groggily. "What did you say?"

"Are you staring at her again?" Chihiro repeated.

"Who's 'her'?" asked Kaorin, faux-innocently.

"Why are you trying to deny it?" Chihiro sighed. "You already told me everything about your interest in Sakaki-san, remember?"

Pause. Kaorin's brain echoed the computers of decades past: _ka-clik, ka-clik, clik-clik-clik-clikclikclik_.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry, I was still a little... you know."

"Yes, I do know," Chihiro said dully. In fact, she knew all too well. She remembered a time when Kaorin actually focused her attention on her best friend instead of this cool, mysterious Sakaki-san. She wasn't exactly jealous – after all, she didn't want _that_ sort of attention from Kaorin – but it did irritate her a bit. She was sure that half of this "Sakaki-san" that Kaorin swooned over existed only in imagination. After all, it _had_ to: Such a cool, collected, admittedly quite attractive girl, yet no one knew anything about her! Thus, a persona had to be fabricated, not just by Kaorin, but by the whole school. Chihiro actually got the feeling that everyone had already made up their minds as to what Sakaki-san was like and just didn't want to bother with actually checking with her about it. Such was the way with high school, and with life. To the general public, the truth was never preferable to lies when lies were so much more interesting! Of course, she didn't say any of this. Instead, she was patient with her friend. Kaorin would come around someday; she was too bright not to. Admittedly, good grades in science class didn't always translate to social prowess. In fact, it was usually the opposite. Still, Kaorin always seemed remarkably quick on the uptake to Chihiro, more so than she herself. There just happened to be one gigantic blind spot. Kaorin would get over it. It was just a high school crush. She would _definitely_ get over it.

"I'm sorry, Chihiro, but she's just so... _cool!_ I'll always have eyes only for her, for all my life..." Kaorin cast another admiring glance at Sakaki-san.

Kaorin just didn't know she would get over it, that was all. That was normal. _Absolutely normal,_ Chihiro reminded herself. _No need to get upset..._

"You're being overdramatic, Kaorin... Like I keep telling you, it's just a crush. You'll get over it someday."

Kaorin, as she always did when this was suggested, looked deeply offended. "You don't know what you're talking about! She's my one, my only... You'll see. One day she will hold me in her arms tightly, and tell me that she will protect me, and-"

"'That she will always love me, forever and for always, until her and I both have long been erased and the Earth crashes into the Sun?'" Chihiro recited, having heard this speech before. It didn't get any less corny no matter how many times she was forced to bear it.

"I... Am I really that predictable, Chihiro?" Kaorin whimpered.

"Well... I... I'm sorry, Kaorin... Sometimes your obsessiveness bothers me a little, is all..."

"I know, Chihiro, I know. I'm sorry. But Sakaki-san is just so wonderful... If only I could touch her, or look into her eyes, or just get myself to talk to her! But I'm doomed just to sit here and watch, cursing myself and my fears... My fears... I'm so afraid, Chihiro. Everything scares me to death. What if she says no? What if she says _yes?_ I'm so frightened that something bad would happen. It always does! Why does everything bad have to happen to me? What have _I_ done to deserve this? It's not fair! It's not fair at all! My life doesn't have to be this way! They'll pay for treating me like this! Everyone here who looks down on me... The kids who give me dirty looks, the ones who laugh at me... They'll see someday... I'll be rich and famous and then I'll laugh down at them and their puny lives! But... It won't matter... Because I'll be alone... I'll dream of how I missed my one chance at happiness, and think of Sakaki-san, with her long, flowing dark hair, and the way she walks as though she's floating ever so slightly off the ground... Ohhhhhhh, I love her so much, Chihiro... More than oxygen... But... I... Jeez, I just dunno what the heck I should do or, hell, maybe I shouldn't even bother, who knows. What do you think, Chihiro?"

Chihiro just blinked and stared."Uh... I don't know, Kaorin... You were sort of all over the place there," she said finally.

"Oh... I'm so pathetic," Kaorin sighed.

"No, you're not pathetic," Chihiro snapped. "You're a nice person, really. All you need to do is at least try to do something about it instead of all the talking!"

Kaorin looked a bit shocked at first, but then her expression suddenly changed to one of steely determination.

"You're right, Chihiro... I do. Now, let's get down to business..."

-----

_This is completely unrelated to anything in the actual story, but does anyone remember The Brave Little Toaster? Didn't you love that movie? It may be embarrassing to admit, but don't you still love it now? Don't you?! Yes you do! And why is there no Brave Little Toaster fanfiction on this site? Someone should write some! Maybe YOU should!_

_Because I sure as hell ain't._

_And something that is related to the story: I sure have a lot of spacing out going on in this fic. I don't know why. Maybe it's just because I space out so much myself. We write what we know..._

_I apologize for Kaorin's monologue, too. Although I'm sure some people enjoyed it. And don't think I don't know who you are._


	3. Chiyo, PI

**A disclaimer, some comments, and YOUR MOM, OH-HO SNAAAAAP-AHHHHH**

_Me no own Azumanga Daioh. Me no care._

_I moved the whole conversation between Yukari and Nyamo into the end of this chapter. It just didn't work right as the beginning of a new one._

-----

**III**

**CHIYO, P.I.**

_A vast cavern._

_Electricity whizzed through the space inside at a rate faster than you can think of._

_Is it ironic that thought was what was being formed?_

_Some might say yes. But this newborn brain did not yet grasp irony, or indeed much anything. This would be rectified soon enough: New neurons, and connections between them, were being formed, slowly but surely working toward the astonishing complexity of the human mind. Everything was going smoothly, cells moving along systematically yet spontaneously to reach their destination._

_But wait._

_There was something abnormal._

_Not _wrong _– but different. Neurons were connecting in unexpected ways, ways unprecedented. But why? The cells did not know. Cells do not know much anything. They do what they are designed to. Dimly, though, there was a sense of something off-key, the same dim feeling a human might feel if a certain minute was sixty-one seconds instead of sixty. At the same time, though, there was a feeling of something gloriously _right._ The neurons connected artfully and gracefully, pleasing themselves in some dark recess of what could, and yet could not, be called their minds._

_Would the baby be affected?_

_Would Chiyo-chan's pigtails stop tormenting her?_

Blink, blink.

_Suddenly, Ayumu found herself in a classroom. It was hers. She identified this immediately despite the classroom looking nothing like the classroom she was usually situated in. It was hers without question. And there was Chiyo-chan, calmly writing something down in her notebook in front of her. And there were those terrifying, infuriating, detachable pigtails! Would Chiyo-chan never realize the horrible truth?_

_Ayumu knew what she had to do. She had to free Chiyo-chan from her prison!! Her hands inched toward the back of Chiyo's head, but just as she was about to, there was Yukari-sensei, holding a ruler._

_"Osaka," she warned, "Stop that. I need those pigtails to stay on Chiyo-chan's head."_

_"But that's awful!" Ayumu gasped. "Do you not realize the prison in which Chiyo-chan must live every day?"_

_Chiyo-chan gave a confused "huh?" and looked dazedly up at the two conversing._

_"Of course," Yukari-sensei laughed. "Why do you think her grades are so excellent?"_

_"LIES!!" Ayumu pointed an accusatory finger at her teacher._

_There was a pause, in which Yukari-sensei glared with a ferocity that would have made Ayumu weep if not for her sudden determination._

_Then, all of a sudden, Yukari threw confetti up in the air and danced around happily, singing nonsense to herself over and over. Then a car crashed into the classroom and a Martian hopped out of it! He was just about to vaporize everyone in sight when Chiyo-chan began chanting a magic spell that would–_

The alarm rang.

Osaka opened her eyes groggily and reflected upon what a confusing dream she had just had.

-----

Kaorin was, frankly, pooped.

"Are you all right, Kaorin?" asked Chihiro, panting heavily.

"No, but I can't rest! I've got – to get – to school – on – time!" Kaorin promptly collapsed onto the sidewalk.

Chihiro quickly pulled her upright and the two continued their Mad Dash™. "I know, I know. But I wish we didn't have to go through this every day! For someone who does so well at school, you'd think you'd wake up and get ready for school earlier than you do!"

Kaorin answered, in between panting, "Well, I go to bed really late, so sometimes I have trouble waking up in the morning... Especially when I'm having a really nice dream..."

Chihiro smirked. "And what exactly would these dreams be about?"

Kaorin paused. Then: "So, are we going to put this plan into action or what?"

"We have a plan?" Chihiro would have scratched her head but she was obviously too busy running.

"Remember our talk yesterday?" Kaorin saw the schoolhouse not far away and slowed down her pace until she reached walking speed.

"I thought we agreed after about four hours of it that we hadn't really gotten anywhere..." Chihiro replied, also slowing down.

"Well, yeah, but I changed my mind."

"Oh?" Chihiro had to fight to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "What's your plan then?"

"Well, I'm going to send a note!"

Considering all the convoluted plots they had sifted through the previous day, Chihiro was rather underwhelmed by this scheme. Once again, she tried hard not to act as though she was: "Good idea. That way you can find out about her feelings toward you without going up to her."

"Well, actually, the note's going to be anonymous."

Chihiro had to resort to some deep breathing.

-----

The bell rang.

Five seconds later, Chihiro walked into her homeroom class.

"You're late," Yukari-sensei noted.

"Well, uh, I..." Chihiro scrambled to find something appropriate to say. From her perspective, it was not she who was late but her teacher who was _early_. Yukari-sensei never got to class on time. What was she doing here at this time of morning? "Well, you see, I..."

"Just sit down, willya?" Yukari smirked. "You're wasting my time."

"Uh... Yes, Yukari-sensei," Chihiro sputtered after a pause, skating over to her desk and quickly seating herself there.

"So!" Yukari-sensei clapped her hands and grinned. "Let's get the party started!"

_Party?_ wondered about half the kids in the class.

Chiyo-chan raised her hand. "Yukari-sensei?"

"Yes, Chiyo-chan?" Yukari replied.

"I wasn't aware of any party taking place..."

"It's a figure of speech, Chiyo-chan," Yukari chuckled.

"But Yukari-sensei..." said Chiyo-chan, her hand still in the air, "Why would you... Actually, never mind..." She put her hand down defeatedly.

"Uh, okay," said Yukari. "Anyway..."

_Aw, a party would have been fun... _Osaka thought to herself.

-----

It was a typical lunchtime for Yomi. This, of course, meant Tomo was annoying her.

"Hey, Yomi, whaddya got in your lunch today? Can I have it? Huh? Huh?" Tomo grinned her widest and most irritating grin.

"Food," Yomi said flatly, not looking up from her lunch.

"Well, of course it's food, I want to know what _kind_ it is!" said Tomo cheerily. "You're such an idiot, Yomi..."

This time Yomi did look up. She glared at her friend.

"OK, I get it, I get it, no lunch for me today! You want it all for yourself. It's no wonder you're fat, really!"

"I–"

"Hey." Kagura sat down next to them, stopping any real fighting that would have occurred. "So, any new theories about our two favorite teachers?"

"No idea," Yomi shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking about it, to be honest."

"Yeah, me neither," admitted Tomo. "I was thinking about more important things. Like... uh... well, I forget now. But they were important. They had to be, because they were _my_ thoughts!"

"Maybe Yukari-sensei got a pet cat," Osaka muttered as she looked dreamily up at Kagura.

Sakaki suddenly looked very interested.

"Uh... what would that have to do with anything?" wondered Kagura.

"Well, maybe the cat doesn't like Nyamo-sensei. Maybe it bites her." Osaka illustrated her point with a very vague hand gesture.

Now Sakaki looked a bit shifty.

"That doesn't seem very likely," Kagura said, pulling a face slightly and pointing her chopsticks in Osaka's direction.

"Maybe Nyamo-sensei is allergic to cats!" Tomo said enthusiastically, not bothering to finish chewing her food before she spoke. She therefore spewed her meal into Yomi's face.

"Gah!" Yomi ducked.

"Oh, sorry Yomi."

"Yeah, I bet you are."

"I don't know, that doesn't sound very likely either," Chiyo-chan thought out loud, looking oddly disconcerted.

"I guess it could be something else..." Osaka looked down from the ceiling she had taken an interest in. "Maybe they're having friendship problems..."

"What kind?" asked Kagura.

"Well, you know. Like Yomi and Tomo."

"Actually, I think the _entire friendship_ is a problem," said Yomi wryly.

"No..." Osaka muttered. "Like you and Tomo were a couple of days ago... Except it didn't fix itself."

"Fix itself?" Tomo repeated.

"It did fix itself, didn't it?"

Neither Tomo nor Yomi had an answer for that one.

Fortunately, Chiyo-chan interrupted. "I think we should try to find out more about what is going on between them," she proposed. "Does anyone else want to try to investigate it with me after school?"

"What?" Kagura sputtered. "You mean like eavesdropping?"

"Uh... well... I suppose you could call it that." Chiyo-chan blushed slightly.

"That seems... unlike you." The athlete frowned.

"It seems more like fun to me!" Tomo yelled, raising her arms in excitement. "What about it, can I go on a TOP SECRET INVESTIGATION with you?!"

"You? On a top secret investigation?" Yomi laughed humorlessly. "You're about as inconspicuous as an army tank."

"No way! You know I have wicked ninja skills, Yomi."

"It's funny how _I'm_ the one who's always kicking _your_ ass, then, isn't it?"

"Hey, that's not fair! I–"

"Uh," Chiyo-chan cut in timidly, "Does anyone else want to go with me?"

"Nope," said Kagura.

"No thanks," said Yomi.

Chiyo-chan looked hopefully at Sakaki.

Sakaki looked blankly back at her.

"Sakaki-san?" Chiyo-chan asked, in the cutest voice she could manage.

"I– I don't know, Chiyo-chan... It..." Sakaki sighed. "I would, but eavesdropping on our teachers just doesn't seem right..."

Chiyo-chan was crestfallen.

There was a pause.

"I'll go," said Osaka.

"You will?" Chiyo-chan asked cautiously.

"Sure... It would be a good mission."

Ignoring Osaka's odd wording, Chiyo-chan beamed and said, "Oh, thank you! I really..."

Osaka stopped her compliments with the (vague, of course) wave of a hand. "No, it's fine... I want to know what is with Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei as much as you do..."

"Of course..."

-----

"So, right. The hardest part is almost over."

Chihiro gave her friend an odd look. "Uh, the hardest part? It's just the salutation. And we've been working on it since lunch started."

"I know, I know," Kaorin sighed, staring at her hopelessly blank piece of paper, "But I think we're about to crack it. And you shouldn't underestimate the importance of the opening phrase. It sets the tone for the whole letter. Ooh! I've got one," she added brightly. "What about 'Dear Admired One'?"

"Well, I dunno. It's not too impersonal, but not something that would make it seem like you're too up into her personal space... I kinda like it." Chihiro smiled encouragingly.

"Well, yeah, maybe..." Kaorin lifted up her writing utensil in a hopeful manner, but then put it back down again quickly. A pause, while Kaorin's brain worked furiously. "No, no, I don't like it... It sounds sort of stupid... Overemotional, you know... Geez, this is hard!"

_It's only hard because you're _making_ it that way,_ Chihiro thought to herself. Out loud, she said something completely different, of course. "It's not that hard, and besides, it's good that you're thinking this out thoroughly. It'd cause all kinds of trouble if you handed in something you composed without thought. How about..." Chihiro put her hand to her chin. "Oh, I know! How about just 'Dear Sakaki-san'? That would be good, right? Simple, to the point..."

Kaorin shook her head. "No, that's... well, maybe it's..." She put her hands on her head. "I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing... Maybe this letter idea was a bad one..."

"Aw, don't be like that!" Chihiro put her hand on Kaorin's shoulder. "This is a good idea. Even if it is anonymous, it'll help you work up the courage to get to the next level. Small steps, you know."

"I guess you're right. Oh, how about..."

-----

School was over. For most people, this would mean a trip home, or to the mall, or to whatever adolescent hangout was in vogue at the time.

Not, however, for two girls.

One of these girls was short. The other was also pretty short for her age, but taller. Therefore, we will refer to her as the tall one for the time being. Besides this height difference, though, there was another striking difference between them.

The short one was wearing her usual school uniform. Her red hair was tied up in pigtails. She fidgeted with her pigtails slightly, hoping they wouldn't be conspicuous. Her hair was already conspicuous just for being red, which wasn't common in Japan or indeed most other places. Her pigtails didn't help, though.

The tall one's clothing couldn't have been more different. First of all, she was wearing a black fedora. This black fedora went well with the sunglasses she was wearing and the ridiculously oversized black trenchcoat she had somehow managed to acquire. Her regular school skirt and shoes gave the overall outfit a very surreal look.

Both of them, however, were very quiet.

Chiyo-chan and Osaka stood cautiously outside the area where the teachers hung around. They leaned their heads in the doorway very slightly.

"So, here we go," Chiyo-chan whispered. "I guess we can't turn back now."

"Let's see if we can't get to the bottom of this," Osaka breathed in agreement. "We'll leave no stone unturned! No scoop uneaten!"

"Er, right," Chiyo-chan replied. "Where did you get that trenchcoat?"

"Where do you think?"

"Uh... Well... I... Wait, shh, they're talking..."

Indeed, it seemed as though the two teachers were talking.

"Ugh..." Nyamo moaned, running a hand through her hair. "What a day..."

"What's wrong?" Yukari grinned and took a big drink from her angry-face coffee cup. "Is it the students?"

"No, no, it's not that, it's just..." Nyamo sighed. "I don't... I don't really know, to be honest." She pointlessly rearranged some of the items on her desk.

Chiyo-chan and Osaka exchanged disappointed looks.

"Ha ha, weird, huh?" Yukari laughed and took an even bigger drink this time.

"Yeah... It is weird," Nyamo sighed.

There was a pause. Before it could be more than a three-second one, though, Yukari broke it: "I think I know why you're being like this!" Nyamo looked up as Yukari continued, "You tried to sneak it past me, didn't you? But I'm too clever for that! I know what your deal is!"

"You do..."

"Yes! You're still _jealous_ of me, AREN'T you?" The crazy teacher leaned in closer to her foil.

Chiyo-chan and Osaka exchanged significantly less disappointed looks.

"Oh no," Nyamo said emotionlessly. "I have been found out. How foolish of me it was to attempt to hide my feelings." She rolled her eyes.

"You got THAT right!" Yukari whooped. She punched Nyamo on the arm, who stuttered hopelessly in protest. "You're jealous because now I have a boyfriend and you still don't!"

_Well, that was unexpected..._ Chiyo-chan thought to herself.

"I am NOT jealous of you!" Nyamo protested. "You've only been out on a date together like once! And he _threw up on you!!_"

"Ha! I bet you wish YOU could get thrown up on like I can!" Yukari taunted. She pointed an accusatory finger at Nyamo, who looked unimpressed. "Besides– You didn't look so happy when I first told you about it..."

"I just couldn't believe it had really happened," Nyamo replied.

Yukari gave her a sharp look.

"I... when I say that, I mean, I thought you were... too, uh, great... for a boy to work up the courage to ask you out?" Nyamo said slowly, attempting some kind of smile and failing.

Yukari-sensei didn't seem to notice Nyamo's grimace. "Yeah, you're probably right. All the guys are intimidated by my incredibly good looks. Not to mention my intelligence. Which is, of course, typical for an English teacher." Yukari continued on about her teaching a LEGITIMATE subject, as opposed to Nyamo's silly gym class, but Nyamo merely tuned out at this point, having heard this sort of thing plenty of times before.

Chiyo-chan had also heard this before, and since all she really wanted to know had been said, she elbowed her temporary partner in crime and gestured for them to leave.

Osaka didn't seem to notice.

Chiyo-chan did it again.

Osaka still didn't notice.

Chiyo chan whispered, as quietly as she could manage while still being sure Osaka could hear, "I think we should go now."

"What?" said Osaka, far louder than she should have.

Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei jerked their heads up at the sudden noise.

-----

_This chapter took too long to write. Seriously. Although that's not too weird, considering my short attention span and the fact that this chapter is unusually long. _

_I am sorry I was too lazy to finish the conversation before, but it's finished now, so no harm done._

_I still think that little scene with Kaorin and Chihiro running to school near the beginning didn't come out quite right. I also think I need to work a bit on my descriptive language as well. But I know my spelling and grammar are excellent. So there._

_Chihiro is turning out to be quite the actress, no?_

_And Osaka's crazy outfit was partly inspired by Marty's ridiculous get-up in Back to the Future Part II._


	4. Keeping Secrets

_Still don't own Azumanga Daioh. What a surprise._

_If you're wondering where the rest of the conversation between Yukari and Nyamo is, I moved it to the end of the third chapter. It just doesn't work right tacked onto the beginning of this one._

_Also, I apologize for the glaring continuity error in the original version of this chapter. It's fixed now. But I still cannot believe I was so dumb.  
_

-----

**IV**

**KEEPING SECRETS**

The next day, lunch happened again as usual. Chiyo-chan and Osaka sat down and ate their meals quietly in a corner of the room where they did not usually eat, trying to look as though they were not there.

Their cover was blown amazingly quickly.

Chiyo-chan knew it wouldn't be long before someone discovered them, but even then she thought they could buy a bit of time before the others found them out. Unfortunately, the first person who noticed them was Tomo, and she said their names loudly and waved frantically for them to come over to the spot where they usually ate.

Sighing, Chiyo-chan trudged over in her direction with Osaka in tow.

When she finally arrived with the others in the group, she said "Hello!", perhaps a little too brightly, and sat.

"Hey," Tomo asked, "Didja find anything out about the teachers yet?"

After a slight pause, Chiyo-chan answered, "Nothing to report, I'm afraid. Right, Osaka?"

"What?" Osaka stopped staring at Chiyo-chan's pigtails.

"We did not find anything out on our trip, right?" Chiyo-chan repeated.

"Oh... No," Osaka said quickly, "Chiyo-chan's right, we didn't. We didn't even find anything out about the clones."

"...Clones?" Chiyo-chan looked puzzled.

"You know about the army of clones Yukari-sensei is building, right?"

"Uh-"

"Aw, come on!" Tomo interrupted, looking quite disappointed. "I thought you guys would find SOMETHING! You're supposed to be smart, Chiyo-chan. Or maybe you DID find out and you don't want to tell us! Tell! Don't keep secrets from us!!"

"But... I really didn't find anything out!" Chiyo-chan protested, although she did not look at Tomo, instead preferring to focus on her meal.

"I think she is telling the truth," Sakaki murmured.

"I think so too," Kagura agreed. "Chiyo-chan isn't the type to lie... Although I thought she also wasn't the type to spy on people..."

"I don't know..." Yomi looked suspicious. "I think there's something she's not telling us." She pointed her chopsticks at Chiyo-chan.

"Of course not," said Chiyo-chan, but she continued to look at her food.

"I'm not lying either," Osaka promised. "That's my pledge as an investigator of the truth."

-----

It was morning of the next day and Sakaki had arrived at her storage space. Thing. You know, that place where people put their stuff.

Anyway, before the author of this story gets off track, let us note that Sakaki's storage contained something unusual.

It was an envelope.

Sakaki picked up the envelope, flipped it over, and read what was on the other side: "To Sakaki-san. Do not open around others." There was no return address.

Should she open it?

She couldn't think of a reason why not. After all, there was nothing written on the envelope that said she couldn't open it when she was alone. And she was alone – as she often was. But she was at school, and at any moment a friend could approach her, perhaps Chiyo-chan or Kagura, and ask what she was reading.

But if it was Chiyo-chan, she could tell, couldn't she? They trusted each other.

Sakaki continued to hesitate.

Then, on a whim, she changed her mind and quickly opened it.

She read it. When she got to the end, she paused, not really having taken it in, and reread it. As she did so, her eyebrows rose higher and higher and a slight blush appeared on her face.

She read it a third time and her surprise was replaced with puzzlement. Who could have sent her this letter? There was no name on it. In fact, there was no ending salutation at all. The bottom of the letter was just left blank. There were a lot of candidates; Sakaki only had to walk unassumingly down a hallway for plenty of students to swoon. But the letter was written as though its author thought there might be a chance that his identity would be discovered. This confused Sakaki all the more. For there to be any chance, it would have to be someone that she interacted with on at least a semi-regular basis.

But all her friends were female!

Sakaki had a lot of questions in her mind about this letter, but there was one thing she knew for sure: She couldn't tell anyone.

Not even Chiyo-chan.

-----

The weekend passed fairly uneventfully, and on Monday, the gang picked up where they had left off before last school week had ended. Having forgotten all about Chiyo-chan and Osaka's apparent secrets over the weekend, they (Tomo especially) increased their efforts to learn the secret.

Although neither Chiyo-chan nor Osaka could say it, of course, Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei had both made them promise not to mention anything about the conversation they had overheard.

Of course, this, as many secrets do, made the week that followed a little hard to deal with. Not only did Chiyo-chan have to keep quiet a lot, she also had to keep a close watch on Osaka. She knew Osaka might have a hard time remembering there was something she was supposed to keep secret and she worried Osaka would slip up. Once or twice she almost did and Chiyo-chan would have to make a save. It was quickly starting to wear her down.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang was getting more and more suspicious of Chiyo-chan's behavior. Tomo kept badgering Chiyo-chan to tell, despite her repeated protests that she knew nothing. Kagura noted that Chiyo-chan was acting quite strange. Yomi was especially suspicious, giving Chiyo-chan silently disapproving looks through her glasses that made Chiyo-chan feel very uncomfortable. The only person who seemed to believe was Sakaki, which if possible made Chiyo-chan feel even worse whenever she stuck up for her and Osaka.

All this made the next week rather difficult to get through.

-----

One day during the week, lunch happened yet again. As usual, Tomo and Yomi were arguing. It started, as it usually does, with Tomo.

"You know," Tomo noted, "You seem to have gained a few pounds since last week."

"Excuse me?" Yomi responded sharply, as she usually did.

"You heard me." Tomo smirked. "_You've gained weight!_"

"I...I have NOT gained weight!!" Yomi protested.

"What did you eat that made you gain weight like that?"

"Nothing!" said Yomi crossly.

"I bet it was..."

"I said NOTHING!" Yomi interrupted. "Shut up!"

"Sensitive subject, huh?" Tomo's smirk became even wider.

A blood vessel broke in Yomi's head. "Shut UP!!" She stood up reached out to grab for what seemed to be Tomo's neck, but Kagura held her back.

"Don't," she said simply.

"Why not?" Yomi argued.

"You shouldn't." Kagura did not let go.

"I think it's an excellent idea."

"If you try to hurt me, I'll tell everyone–" Tomo stood up too– "About the incident in third grade... with the _ketchup._"

Yomi looked shocked (although still very angry). "You wouldn't dare. You said you'd never tell!!"

"Oh, but I would, Yomi... I would."

"You... I... FINE." Yomi sat down again, still fuming.

Tomo changed the subject as though nothing had happened: "So, Chiyo-chan, come on. TELL! Is it about money? I bet it's about money..."

-----

"Third grade sucks," Tomo complained. "The winter break this school year was _three days_ shorter than the one last time! Three whole days! And the workload! Ugh. I swear, that math teacher gives us like TEN whole problems every day!! Can you believe that? TEN! What do you think, Yomi?"

Koyomi blinked. "Uh... did you just call me Yomi?"

"Yeah, I did," Tomo said. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"...I've never been called that before..."

"Come on. Koyomi is too long to have to keep saying all the time. Besides, it sounds all formal and _boring_ and _**blehhhh**_. But if you wanna be boring and be called that name, that's fine with me."

"No... It's fine... I kind of like it." Koyomi – Yomi – smiled a little.

"So, anyway," Tomo said again, "What do you think?"

"Oh, I don't mind the work," Yomi disagreed. "I like being challenged. Besides, ten problems isn't that many, you know..." She leaned closer to Tomo conspiratorially. "I heard that in high school, you have to do forty! Or _more!_"

"Wow," said Tomo in awe. "That's incredible! How do they do that?"

"I don't know," Yomi said. "It's amazing they don't just faint in class!"

"Actually," Tomo said, "I think some kids have. Although that might be more because of their teachers. I heard that there's this really insane English teacher who yells at her students all the time. Some kids are so scared of her that they run whenever they see her walk down the hallway! Ha ha ha! Imagine that!! Some people sure are wimps."

"Oh, wow... " Yomi breathed, "High school sure seems scary."

"Yeah," Tomo agreed. "But it'll be all right if I have a friend."

"I..." Yomi didn't know what to say to that. Finally, she just settled for a simple "Thank you." There was a pause, and she added, "By the way..."

"What?"

"Remember what happened over break?" asked Yomi quietly. "When we were at Magnetron Burger and..."

Tomo waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, don't worry about that... Everyone does things like that from time to time. Except maybe me."

"I know, but... I feel really stupid about it... Could you promise never to tell anyone else?" Yomi asked even more quietly than before.

"Don't worry," Tomo reassured her, "Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks!"

"Don't mention it," Tomo grinned.

"Besides," she added, laughing, "You doing something as stupid is that is too hilarious for me to waste it by telling anyone else!"

Yomi laughed grudgingly and continued to eat her food.

-----

_Well, done. Finally._

_Surprisingly, the majority of this chapter was written in a single day. Like, a week or more ago, actually. The very beginning of it was written the day before that, and Sakaki receiving Kaorin's letter was done tonight._

_I think it turned out fairly well for something that was, in all honesty, quite hastily put together._


End file.
